Dear Phil Spector,
Way to go with the whole inventing modern music production thing. That’s awesome. Oh, and also great job on FUCKING KILLING SOMEBODY IN YOUR HOUSE, WALKING OUT WITH THE GUN, AND SAYING “I THINK I KILLED SOMEBODY” LOUDLY ENOUGH FOR THE NEIGHBOR TO HEAR. That’s inspired.
As a soon-to-be college graduate – which to date it had never occurred to me to equate with “unemployed” – I’ve been thinking a lot about the future. Namely, how do I get to where I want to be? The answer isn’t important. What’s important is what the fuck is the deal with people who are totally ALL SET doing really fucking stupid things and screwing it all up?
To-do list of wildly successful, happily retired music producer:
1. Don’t kill the hot actress I’m shacking up with!
2. Whatever else
What, Phil, did she lose that lovin’ feeling? Too bad instead of grabbing your bro and weeping about it you popped one in her face. Cause even with a bloodstain on the carpet, your big house is a lot better than the big house.
Maybe you got jealous of Michael Vick, TI, Paris Hilton, Martha Stewart, etc, etc, et-fucking-cetera, who were getting all the attention.
So really:
Dear Rich and Powerful,
Stop screwing it all up. Leave the murder, gun posession, dogfighting, drunk driving, and insider trading to those of us who need the free food. If you want butt sex, you can afford it.
In short, let it be.
Love and kisses,
The Culturefuckers
Your fellow culturefucker would like to add this important disclaimer: the views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the opinions of other culturefuck contributors. Namely, that chick is not hot.